


The Evaluation

by Rei382



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 12:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30004734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rei382/pseuds/Rei382
Summary: It was that time of the year when they had to write the annual evaluation and in order to help Roy get his done, Ed promised to write together with him.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 13
Kudos: 25





	The Evaluation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [12HolySheep12](https://archiveofourown.org/users/12HolySheep12/gifts).



> Okay so this is totally [12HolySheep12](https://archiveofourown.org/users/12HolySheep12)'s fault and I take no responsibility.
> 
> *This was based off [this post in tumblr ](https://rei382.tumblr.com/post/644840361530900480/if-edward-elric-was-given-a-commanding-position)

Ed wasn’t sure how he was hoaxed into this, but he was certain it was some sort of a trick. He wrinkled his nose as he placed yet another paper on the oak wood table he was currently sitting at. It was probably the high pay, the promise of benefits and the familiarity. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

He glanced sideways at Roy.

Right. He wasn’t exactly thinking with his head when he agreed to take the job. Not entirely, anyway. His stupid, hormonal brain took charge when Roy met him and offered him a Colonel position in one of the research divisions of Central Headquarters. It was just after Ed had returned from his travels and was looking for a place to settle in, and, at the time, the job at the military seemed like a good opportunity. Not just because of the stability, or the money: but because it meant that he would be on frequent contact with Roy Mustang, which, in his crazy mind, meant that there was a high chance that he would be able to act on the feelings he’d been secretly harboring since he was an even stupider teenager. Plus, he was promised subordinates, which, at the time, seemed like a fun idea.

On the surface everything worked just as it should have: the paycheck was very nice, he got his subordinates (two at first, but with the growth of demand he reached five by now), and, a few months in, he also managed to get his first date with Roy, which was… awkward, and definitely not the same as what he had imagined it would be like all those years. But despite the awkwardness there was a second date, and a third, and ten months later they were sharing a house and procrastinating together on writing the annual evaluations on their subordinates.

Which was the part Ed wasn’t thinking about when he accepted the offer. His arch nemesis. _The_ _paperwork_.

Which, he knew for a fact, were also Roy’s arch nemesis. Which was why they were sitting at the dining table at well past their (okay, Roy’s; Ed usually stayed up reading until much later) typical bedtime and writing the annual evaluations of their respective subordinates.

At least, they were supposed to. Ed could see, from the corner of his eye, that Roy’s hand wasn’t writing and that his stare was fixated on the opposing wall.

“Hey,” Roy shook his head at Ed’s call, his eyes focusing. Ed kept his eyes on him as he turned his head to look at him. “You don’t have time for breaks. We have to finish these by tomorrow.”

Roy groaned in response. “But my wrist hurts. I did six already. I can rest.”

Ed rolled his eyes at the whiny tone. “It took you the whole evening to do those six, and it’s already almost midnight,” he pointed out. “Isn’t it better to just get it done with so we can go to bed?”

“If that’s what you think, shouldn’t you be working on _your_ evaluations instead of bothering me about mine?”

Ed’s hold on his pen tightened as he reminded himself that Roy was cranky because of his paperwork, and not because of him. After all, the only reason Ed had started writing his before dawn was because he promised Roy he will keep an eye on him to make sure he was doing his paperwork. Although, he thought as he looked at the amount of work still waiting for him, it was probably for the best. He wouldn’t have been able to finish it before his deadline if he’d started when he woke up.

The thought horrified him. It was such a _Roy_ thought. Maybe they spent too much time together. He was really lucky he was so hot. _And_ that Ed was a sucker for him.

He breathed in deeply and let the air out slowly before he replied. “I will have you know that I already finished four out of my required five,” he announced proudly.

Roy frowned. “I don’t believe you.” Ed would’ve been offended if Roy hadn’t been his commanding officer for five years and knew him well enough to suspect his productivity when it came to official reports.

It still wasn’t a nice thing to say, though.

“I did!” he said, and grabbed the pile of papers. “Here, see?” he spread them like a fan. “ _Four_. Now stop whining and do the rest of yours.”

Ed moved his hand to place the papers back on the table but Roy reached over and grabbed the papers from him. “Hey! It’s supposed to be confidential!” You’d think _Roy_ would understand that, out of all people. He tried to reach and grab his evaluations back. Ed’s worries about his subordinates privacy wasn’t his only concern: he had a feeling Roy might not appreciate the _phrasing_ of his evaluations so much. Unfortunately Roy seemed to be thrown enough by Ed’s work to get up from his chair and read it while standing – and well out of Ed’s reach.

“Ed, you can’t send those in,” he said, and Ed frowned at his tone.

“Sure I can, and I _will_ , I just need to finish them – “

“You wrote in the comments about poor First Lieutenant Frost that he ’ _would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle_ ’ and that you ‘ _would not allow this lieutenant to breed_ ’,” Roy looked through the pages and picked another one. “About Sergeant Able that she has ‘ _delusions of adequacy_ ’ and that she ‘ _should go far – and the sooner the better’_. You can’t write things like that.”

“Why not? I meant every word!”

“Did you also mean to write that Second Lieutenant Weber ‘ _sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them_ ’?” Roy read from a third page.

“Well – yes! It’s not my fault I was given a bunch of inadequate morons. You’d think they’ll assign people who have some functioning brain cells to research potentially catastrophic arrays, but apparently a functioning brain is too much to ask for.”

Roy smirked at him. “That’s what they have _you_ for, Edward.”

He knew it was meant as a compliment, but he was too annoyed to take it as such. Besides, he’d been confident of his knowledge in alchemy since he was a young child and he never needed anyone to know it. “Honestly I think it’s sad that someone who can’t even perform alchemy can outperform all of them. I sometimes think it’s better to just get rid of them all and just do all the work myself.”

“Well,” Roy said, and Ed watched him looking at the last evaluation Ed had completed. “With comments such as ‘ _this lieutenant is depriving their village of an idiot_ ’ you might soon find out that your wish comes true.”

“Good,” Ed said, and grabbed his next evaluation; but Roy’s eyes drilled holes in his nape and he looked back up almost immediately. “What?”

“Be careful what you wish for. Remember there was a reason you’ve been given subordinates. The military is not very fond of wasting personnel.”

“Yeah, well, they should’ve thought of it before they assigned a guy who doesn’t know how differentiate between copper and mercury. I mean – how did he even pass the exam?”

Roy chuckled. “Maybe they should let you write the exam. We’ll see how many will pass it then.”

“More paperwork?” Ed arched his eyebrow. “Go and finish your own before you try to convince me to take even more of this nightmare upon myself. You took a long enough break by now.”

Ed almost felt sorry for him at the miserable look that rose on his face. At times like this Ed suspected that maybe the reason behind Roy’s job offer wasn’t his belief that Ed could benefit from the military, or that the military could use him and his knowledge, as Roy had claimed when he brought it up at their catching up meeting when Ed was first back in Central. No, it was of no noble reason like that.

He just wanted to share the pain in the ass that was paperwork and make as many people as possible suffer like he did.

“Fine. I will. But you need to finish yours, too,” Roy gave him his papers back and resumed his seat. “And correct those evaluations, if you send them like this I don’t think they’ll let you keep your soldiers.”

“I’ll think about it,” was the most Ed was willing to promise as he took the papers back from Roy. As he replaced them on the table his eyes scanned the words he’d written down. The thought that _maybe_ there was a _slight_ chance he exaggerated his evaluations crossed his mind. He placed them down and, after making sure Roy was back at his own paperwork, set to write the last one, finding his phrasing was just a little bit softer.


End file.
